Egyptian Arabic

Seven in the morning at the station: Dalia meets Leo at the studio door and the two climb the ladder of morning greetings, from good morning to light, jasmine, cream, roses and beauty.

On air for the first time: Dalia greets the listeners with the plural polite you, says who is with us today, and the two trade compliments with their fixed answers.

On air, Dalia asks what a lattice window is for, in plain Egyptian, and Leo explains it simply: imagine, that is, meaning, as we say, in short, and the main thing is said.

The Announcer reads the weather and traffic in Standard Arabic, and Dalia has Leo say it all again in plain Egyptian: hot, very, the cars standing, and the tomorrow that means maybe.

The phone-in opens and the first caller is Grandma, asking whether Leo has eaten: hello, who's with us, you're on the air, my son, my daughter, the house can wait, lentil soup, and a promise.

A caller from Shubra at full speed: a wall that sweats, no money for a builder, which floor, why this wall of all walls, the ground is wet underneath, don't paint it, let it breathe.

Mr. Fathi, Leo's old boss, phones the show to correct a word live: by the way, with respect, you said cement; the mortar is lime; you're right, with your permission, no offence, I learned something.

Off air after the first month, Dalia's verdict and Karim's: fine, not bad is a medal, ten out of ten, don't spoil him, like jasmine, a hundred percent, solid, a masterpiece, and the silence that means you've made it.

Home in Heliopolis, Sayed heard the show and so did the whole building: welcome to the star, no jokes, the pharmacist wants an autograph, don't tease me, that's your good taste, don't forget us, on my head.

Karim drags Leo out to the Downtown crowd on a Tuesday night: get up, come on, loosen up, for my sake, my treat and no argument, Mr. Sabry's cafe, Zizo will beat you at backgammon, one game only.

Mr. Sabry's cafe in a Downtown passage, the first orders: welcome engineer, what will you drink, a coffee please, plain, a whiff, just right or extra, just right for him and mint tea for me, strong or light, extra sugar as always, what's the one with milk and cinnamon, that's the milk drink, for the winter, tonight coffee.

Backgammon with Zizo, the first game: sit, American, do you know backgammon, I only know the board, your turn, roll the dice, six-five, the dice here have names, one to six in their old names, two the same is a double, what did you roll, double four and you're locked in, one more game.

Zizo wins and says so: I've beaten you a hundred times tonight, three times only, three times here means a hundred, he's been saying that for a thousand years, you play like a master but at losing, I'm dying of laughter, the dice love me like honey, the dice are heavy as a brick when I roll, that's the first Egyptian sentence, like the moon.

The bill at the cafe: six teas and two coffees, the loser pays, the loser is the American, a pack and a half, what does pack mean, a thousand pounds and a million is a rabbit, nobody here has seen a rabbit, the bill is only a hundred and fifty, I've no change, only a two-hundred note, broke like us, on the iron, keep the change for the next loss.

Zizo tells the night's news: look, the thing is, the passage is changing, changing how you mean, well, the shop on the corner closed, so get to the point, the point then, a new cafe with a screen, people will go there, that's it, we're finished, he says that every month mind, look, the thing is, I'm staying here, that's it, he's one of us.

The Waiter drops a tray and nothing breaks: oh my white day, what's this, what happened, oh no, not one glass broke, can I say oh my white day, at a wedding yes, that's the soft one, you're an engineer, say unbelievable, or really, with your eyebrows, really, is that it, that's it, now help the man.

Three answers from Mr. Sabry that each mean the other thing: can we play after one, God willing, that's a maybe meaning no, and the milk drink tomorrow, tomorrow God willing, that's never, so can I pay next week, all right, that's a yes but say thank you quickly, and when he says of course, run.

Zizo tells a joke about a doorman who knows everything: once a man came home at two, and then, the doorman said to him your wife came in at one, and what did the man say, the man went and said to him how do you know, he got up and said to him I know everything, the man said to him then who ate my lunch, the doorman said to him your wife, at one, the punchline last, always.

The crowd gives Leo a name: Aziz is Zizo, Mohamed is Mido, Ahmed is Hamada, and Leo from tonight is Lilo, don't fight it, I was Kiko for a year, and what do I call you, big man, chief, prince, pasha, all right chief, Mr. Sabry is uncle not sir, dad and mum are for home, Lilo then, my mother will never know.

A December night, the cafe closes at one and the passage is freezing: closing everybody, go home, it's very cold, say cold to death or freezing, cold to death and a bit windy, a bit, it cuts, this is ice, Cairo is cold for two weeks and talks about it for two months, take the engineer home or he'll freeze, it was a great night really, bottom line you lost, good night.

Mother's Day at the Mansours' in March: Leo praises the cake with a cafe word, Salma stops him in front of Layla, and Madame Nadia gives every slang word its ordinary twin.

A windy morning in Heliopolis, Layla in the carrier without a hat: a woman in the street stops Leo, he answers with the wrong title, and learns which one her age wants.

The rooftop cafe before the show: Nour the comedian meets the radio man who plays backgammon, Zizo makes a quip, and Nour shows Leo how a word with two meanings works.

A night on a rooftop over Downtown with Karim, Mona and Nour, mint tea and the whole city below: the little questions Egyptians hang on the end of a sentence to get a nod.

The comedy night at the rooftop cafe: Nour warms the room, hands Leo the microphone for three minutes about old houses, and Zizo heckles from the floor.

At home in Maadi, Layla nearly a year old on the carpet: Mona asks what the baby words mean, and Salma and Leo give the grown-up word beside each one.

Friday lunch at Grandma's in al-Darb al-Ahmar: the plate is empty and Layla says her first word, all gone; the family's bets are lost and Grandma takes it as a compliment to her cooking.

Leo's first joke in Arabic at Mr. Sabry's cafe, judged by the crowd: not bad, cold, old, but it made Karim laugh, and that is the test.

On air on the last Tuesday of March: Dalia reads out a listener's message in Standard Arabic, a Zamalek library club inviting the engineer to read stories aloud, dares Leo to say yes, and Grandma calls in to settle it.

Take one at the old house in al-Darb al-Ahmar: Karim's new camera, a documentary about the house, Salma directing, and Layla clapping for herself; the small words that soften every request.